Saturday, April 26, 2008 Y
Dear today I really feel very qiao qui.. I felt very lost.. I dun know what to do.. as a guy I should give my gf the time, giver her happiness but in the same time have his career. I tired my best to plan my time, plan my sheddule but I still got not enough time for u as what u said. Wo hen wu zu dear.. you cried infront of me, u said in the future when I am in army I will got no time for you.. yes.. it may be this way but what can I do? or what should I do in order to gain 2 way? recently or I can said this few month.. I been thinking few month before all this u said to me.. but I only come with 1 solution and is to give up one thing.. but if u could understand me.. ti lian yu bao rong.. I believe I may not have to choose this way.. many time I ask myself.. is it that we know each other too early? or we being together too early.. at this point of my time I am very clearly know that what I need is to fight for my career in order to have a fortunate family.. I hope u are the mother in my dream that teaching our children, playing with our children.. we had been together and solve so much problem, if today we were to break of because I got no time for u and I think I dun wan to let u suffer n also making myself so guilty.. only way is to break off.. I hope we dun have to face this situations. Wo zhen de hen tong ku..
{{ 12:04 AM -
Purple&&Freak `
Tuesday, April 22, 2008 Y
Today is the 4th day u stay over at my house since last fri night, for this few day I am really enjoy myself and also having great day swimming together with u on sat morning, it is really wonderful doing sport with someone u love, I can said u are the first ladies that go to swimming pool and swim with me. On last fri u didn't go for ur course because u told me u are not feeling well but on mon u also didn't go for course because u can't wake up in the morning.. I am really worry about ur job dear.. this is really a very good opportunity for u to get started and find ur ambition in life, I dun wanna scold u and keep nagging at u why u dun always be determine to go work coz u had grown up.. u should know what u are doing and also i dun wan u to mistaken I look down on u.. after u went home today u msg and asked me will I love u forever and will marry u in the future.. do u know dear I feel so upset when I see this msg, because in ur heart u still have a place where u are not confident in our relationship.. yes, although I told u I cannot promise u and I will love u with all my heart as long I still love u even we had marry, because I dun wan to make a mistake in our relationship that I make a empty promise u understand? I still really love u.. but really no one can predict what will happen in future.. but I will cherish our relationship every moment and love u as long u still by my side dear.. really thanks for coming into my life.. I love you..
{{ 12:44 AM -
Purple&&Freak `
Tuesday, April 15, 2008 Y
This morning you really give me a shock! supposing you need to wake up at 6am as you need to go home and prepare for your 9am lesson at tampines but you didn't wake up in time, around 7am you finally wake up but u went back to slp after taking your clothes, you slept beside me, I was too tire to wake u up again, so I continue to slp, until around 7.30am I wake up and find up u not yet awake so I call you but how I shake you and call you, you didn't respond to me, I turn u over with some force u has no feel too, I put my two palm on ur face and I feel ur face is cold, ur lip is so pale, I shocked you know dear! I use my finger to press hardly on top of ur lip and u start to move abit, ur eye start to open. That moment I felt so relief, but u keep feeling emotional and start to cry, how I ask u question you also dun wanna ans me, u just told me ur heart just now pain, so I told u I send u down take bus, but u just keep quiet.. after 15min of questioning u, u just sit on the bed without any word. I feel so angry and disappointed on ur attitude, I went back to slp and leave it everything to you. You took my key and leave the house, after few min u call me and make a fuss, saying dun wanna meet me today, said I look down on you, said I dun bother you.. Do you know on that moment my mind is totally blank... I have a sudden wanna tell you I dun wanna care anymore.. because I am really tired le..
Anyway I still met you for dinner, I dun bear to see you like this.. but I really hope there is no second time.. I think that will really make me dun bother u anymore.
{{ 12:45 AM -
Purple&&Freak `
Wednesday, April 9, 2008 Y
Today I accompany u went to Macpherson UOB branch to open a account also to be a misty shopper. Than we went to Ajunine UOB branch to deposit cash. Hm.. I am very happy that seeing u slowly grown up and found a job and I can see ur furute within 10years, for ur own future, u need not worry whether you will have sufficient cash anot, coz I can tell u, u will have, for today the saving plan is very good for u too. But 1 bad news maybe for u and me, maybe u can think that I am too sensitive, I felt suddenly I am very incompetent with u as I feel that when I am in NS for the next 2 yr I will be maybe more poorer than now, coz NS dun pay me much and on that point of time, the world to u is different already, u had start working in a real life, and working in a bank, u will see more attractive future things like people, cash, future and time. In that 2 year I can't give u much, I may got not sufficient money to take u to a movie or even buy u a present for valentine day, not much time for u, and you may find another better guy in there that have money, career, time.. Dear actually I also find that we having lesser and lesser time to meet, for now I think even lesser than giordano, I feel sort of sour in my heart sometime.. and the way u talk to me is a slightly different from last time.. As time goes by I believe it will change even worst..
But I had tried to give u the best guide and support until this stage, I hope if 1 day u were to leave me, rem to put our memory inside u.. rem who had brought u here :)
All the best to ur career.. I believe u can do it and maybe will be better than me. Good luck dear.
{{ 2:52 PM -
Purple&&Freak `
Tml morning will be your very first day of UOB work, I wanna wish my dear all the best and good luck. Actually I am editing our blog and also try to make it look nicer.. I wanna said sorry again as It been sometime I had not update this blog.. maybe lazy again? hee.. You cried just now before going to slp telling me about your family suituiation. I am sorry I can't help much but the only thing I can do is try to comfort u and not to let this thing affect ur future, you still have a good future ahead.. I believe if u were to do, u will be better than me.. I am a very slow learner but u are different, sometime u said u are afraid I leave you, but I am more afraid u will leave me when u getting more success, actually is not I have no confident on you, I am just got no confident on human.. Human are always like that, when they are getting more success, part of them will start to change. From what I see and predict, our way of life are going to change very soon.. real soon.. I really hope it will turn good and not bad.
Past few day I promise to bring you to zoo but I didn't, is my wrong, I apologize.. I am to stubborn sometime.. I will keep my promise the next time k? Tml I am having my 4th attempt Basic Car theory le.. hize.. I hope I will pass this time.. so many of my fren already passed.. I really feel ashamed, even jason can pass till practical le..
Jia you both of us!!
{{ 1:38 AM -
Purple&&Freak `
