23th Fri. Today I feel kind of very upset and very unhappy.. I feel very disappointed.. I feel lost and feel like drop ing dears Today u didn't go work as u told me u are sick and also very tire.. I dun know why.. I find that u lie to me when u went to ur fren house.. my heart was very lost.. It bring me back the day when I know my ex lie on me.. behind me she went with other guys.. I know it is wrong to said that.. but dear I am really very sad.. you told me u going home after movie, end up u told me u just wanna wait another one round and than it drag until 12.10pm.. I keep hearing guys voice!! dear I really cannot take it anymore for that in my life.. I really can't over come this forbia until now.. pls dear if u think u wan other guy pls leave me know and just let me hurt before I go NS.. if I realise this thing after my NS i will really really hate u forever.. is it because I got no time for u? my heart is really so sour now.. I feel heartache.. I feel in secure.. I am sorry.. I dun know why until this thing happen than I realize actually I still dun trust gals..
Dear I really dun wan to get hurt anymore.. do u think we should break up? I really dun wan to see that in future.. I really feel the ache in my heart now.. y do u wanna lie to me? u changed already u know that? I never see u like this before.. I am really feel disappointed.
{{ 9:09 AM -
Purple&&Freak `
19/05/08, today is vesak day, is a public holiday.. after my apt with mala and yi ru we met at khatib. Actually I dun know when u will see this post or even I dun know when I will let u see this post.. inside me I just feel very very very terrible.. Since I start to join AIA, u have see the diff in me, when I am serious.. I am just another person.. I know sometime I do hurt u.. but I am really not in purpose.. sometime u just dun know how helpless am I.. I really dun know what to do and when u was with me.. when u see me like this, sometime u dun console me or even give me a face.. I dun is because u also feel terrible seeing me like this or dun like to see me like this and when I am that down plus seeing u like tat I feel more stress and terrible.. dear from here I just wanna let you know I am very afraid I can't fullfill my dream in my life also I can't give u the best.. I dun wan.. tat's not I wan.. this evening when I went to ur house to return ur mum wallet, I saw the 2 small dog that I had given u last time.. u place it on the table.. when I ask y u didn't put inside ur bag anymore? u told me now a day ur bag always so full, there is no space to place it in.. dear.. sorry.. really sorry I choose not to believe.. but I didn't ask much because I dun wanna argue.. as wat I know last time.. not matter wat u will place it in there.. although u tell me u wun change.. but I start to see changes in u.. realli.. I dun mean coz of that dog so I said so.. I feel the way u treat me no more like previosuly.. even sometime I am eating with u at 8tou.. we 2 are just eating silently without anywords.. sometime u always ask me.. do I care abt u? Do I concern about u.. actually I really really a BIG DO! I observe u every sec when we are together.. even u may see me sometime just place u aside.. but I still concern what u doing and oberserving u.. dear in my heart I am exhausted and bleeding already.. if at this moment I find out something that between us changing.. I will fall down again just like past 3 yr I fall down when my ex leave me.. I hope that wun happen.. And I really really hope my hardwork in everything wun fail.. I appriciate what u have done for me.. but do u feel wat I have done ? I love u..
{{ 12:31 AM -
Purple&&Freak `
