Sunday, August 24, 2008 Y
24/08/08, Morning 9am, u were sleeping in my room once again and I awake alone. It been starting to be like this almost few time since thing start to change. As what I have predicted and wrote on the previous post I hope our relationship wun not go down hill, but seem like it is.. At this moment of time I know something is going to end very soon.. eventually I got no confident any more.. I think that even though I changed sincerely.. our relationship is going to end some how and I gonna face it. By telling me not to put everything into this relationship and telling me na de qi yao fan de sia.. I knew everything.. sometime I abit regret why do I approve u going into this job at the very first place.. I know human will grow up, thinking will change, but some how I think things changes due to ur enviroment.. I really regret.. but thing always happen for a meaning. I am prepared for the worst happen. Do you know dear, to change is not so easy as just said change, this time round I really tell myself to change but I think it really need alot of time to change. You told me not to promise u, dun change all because of u, change for myself, what u said is right, but in order words I feel down too.. I know our relationship is not there anymore..
I admit I been thinking that way too when before everything change, but I always tell myself u r a nice gal, a gal to be a wife, I will not let u down, in the same time I will give u time and help u to change, although I do hurt u alot in the past but I still love u now more than last time.. dear do u know that when u talk to ur boss, I feel really upset and jelouse? I know u will said there I go again, dear do u rem u always said me, why do I talk to a gal in this kind of manner? I said this is the way how I talk.. but u was unhappy, and I know now inside tat time is full of pain.. just now and alot of time when u talk to ur boss, I feel very pain inside me.. but I really dun wanna argue with u, i know u will surely be unhappy and even dun love me as much..
Dear I really feel wu zu and very lost.. why do u change and start leaving further and further when I am in NS? why? do u know how hurt and pain it is? I really hope the next post is to said thanks and all the best to you.. Dear dun leave me can?
{{ 9:25 AM -
Purple&&Freak `
Saturday, August 16, 2008 Y
17/08/08 Sat night 12.05am, I am outside watching tv.. I miss u sitting beside me, talking to me, laughing with me, playing with me. You were inside my room sleeping for the past 2hr, eventually we was going to play majong, but after my bathing, I see u sleeping tight on my bed, I dun bear to wake u up because I know u r very tired.. u been trying to work hard now a day. But I really need some of ur time.. I didn't go to meet keith for movie, partly is because I know u r tire, I also dun bear to see u just because of me, u still wanna acc me. Recently since u changed after I enlisted, our period of time really getting lesser and lesser.. I really miss the day we been through together, but I guess u r not, even though yes, is just a flash that flash through ur mind. Seriously u had been putting job so important that bu zhi bu jue u had place our relationship behind the ranking. Yesterday night I feel so hurt when u told me the conclusion is u hope we still can be fren even we break off.. tat Q make my heart feel weak and hurt.. You r my second gal I willing to drop my tear for.. You told me if I dun change or accept u, u would not marry me.. this is totally different from what you told me last time before I go NS. Even checking your hp already become a way for u to get angry and may wanna break off with me.. also u start to reqest me to allow u go out with guy for lunch or wat if they ask u out.. All this things isn't what u do to me.. But you told me if I dun accept u, u some how will leave me.. I still have approximately 2yr to end my NS, I really dun know what will happen to us, my previous post was saying I hope our relationship will not go down the slope, but now I can see it is.. I trying my best to retain it.. try my best to do something that show u how much I care and concern abt this relationship.. now u have turn mature, change to a person where is not I firstly know.. I am trying to accept it.. but as time goes by I know u will again change ur mind set, if I can't find a stable career or have sort of power to feed u, u will also will leave me very soon.. all this is influence my someone surround you, what u see from there, u think and u will do.. Dear in this post I just wanna tell u I need more time with u, I wanna so something meaning with u, when sometime I ask u Q abt what is the past I do or even what we have plan to do, u totally forget, u dun ans me in a form of serious also.. I am not sure ur mind is thinking abt work too much or some others things.. I hope one day u will go back to ur past.. someone that scold me and get angry when I look at gal magazine.. scold me for looking at gals.. ask me alot of things that show u care and concern, u will ask me not to worry and hope I wun get angry because of ur job and u will will to quit.. I do not wan u to do that.. just that I wanna know the true u willing to do that for me. I will pass u this blog address either we break off or the day we getting engage.. Dear I love u.. I promise I will bring u to paris tower 1 day very soon.. Please keep our relationship strong..
{{ 12:25 AM -
Purple&&Freak `
Thursday, August 7, 2008 Y
My dear.. today is Tuesday 08/07/08, 2 more day to my NS date.. think back we had been together 1yr 7 month 8days. I dun know what will happen after I go NS. I believe in the future there surely will have a big change I think.. I dun know why. Anyway I wanna mention something about yesterday.. Yesterday I went for a drink and Pasir ris Park there with all my college.. I find tat it is really great tat someone really there for me when I am going NS, and also I really wish to enjoy before I go in.. but u called me yesterday.. u make a fuss.. I still rem very clearly tat place is the 2nd time I sat over there and u called to argue with me.. You always said tat I dun understand you this and that.. u said I dun know how u feel.. dear this world is just so selfish de do u know? yes I may get angry also if u were me.. but I have got no choice too if u insist.. but I will charge u and observe u slowly.. are u those kind of woman tat flirt around.. If one day come to a point where u need to go.. I swear.. after I understand the situation, I will let u go.. u see it is just so unreasonable that u always always make a fuss when I go drink.. it is just normal for guy.. and if u really worry.. tat see wat kind of guy am I.. If I am ur fren clement.. I think u would be more worry isn't it? Dun always be like this.. respect me can? I am a adult.. I know what am I doing. If u always dun trust me this and tat.. than how? our relationship is going to go long distance.. with all this bundle how to go far?
Actually before I go drink tat period of time.. I think we are really good, I though u have learnt and we are getting more under each other.. but not.. not wat I think.. u still dun understand me.. perhaps I am not the guy u looking for? I think u are perfect for me only the naive though that I can't bear with it.. dear.. I really hope we can last long.. I really dun wanna off hp.. press away ur call, walk away like this.. I know it isn't gd all along.. but dun always force me to do so..
All the best to out relationship. Hope when I am out of NS, the day I write this post agian.. we are still being together.
{{ 1:58 PM -
Purple&&Freak `
