Wednesday, December 31, 2008 Y
Dear.. Yesterday is our 2nd year anniversary, I feel bad as I am in camp and can't book out to celebrate with you, but I believe even I book, u will be working till late, so also difficult to book, anyway it remind me of all our past yesterday nite not just our 1st year anniversary. I was thinking alot of things last nite, still rem the last time u wanna break out with me? u took out the ring, I cried and asked u not to do that? dear.. recently I always feel that between us, there is something different even how loving we are, and I finally conclude wat is that feeling, the feeling of our start, it just like a fire starter, when the initial the fire is big but slowly it get smaller. Although I know u are busy working and had no time to accompany me, I dun mind, because if I love u, even u just give me 5min I am more than happy.. but I found out that as month goes by when u talk to me, regardless in the phone or face to face, u have no longer have the initial fire u use to have.. do u think is true? I believe when u read this post, you will also kode ur head, I always afraid to face the fact in relationship, I can face the fact I am poor, I am slow, my temper not good but I never dare to face the fact when relationship start to change..
Actually from my point of few no matter how hard I try.. no use anymore.. dear even u tell me yes I stlll love you, u haven change, u wun drop anymore feeling, no use.. rem u told me 6 sense is very accurate.. my sense tell me our relationship is going down hill..
I just wanna express some feeling to you before I afraid maybe one day is too late.. Everyday in camp when I look upon the sky, beside thinking about my future and thinking of you being with me at some where, I am also thinking what should I do? how to save this relationship? will it be a turning point? Dear I can for sure tell you I have give in for our relationsip alot alot alot more than my ex, although u keep say I thinking of her.. I really do think before marry you, have a happy family with you, think of every scene that is also being with you.
Going Japan, australia, south korea, taking alot alot of photo.. so happy.. Dear just now u called, u told me the puma bag I bough for you spoil, that remind me when you lost the pendal I give it to you, you cried and cried and say sorry sorry to me.. do u know actually I didn't blame you? coz ur tear and sorry and told me u are really worth to forgive.. but when u called me to told me your bad spoil, you still raised your voice when I say u make spoil it, u told me you not proposly, is not u wan de.. I just felt very down, ur bag I save 3 month pay to buy.. but when u just give me the reaction, I just knew everything is different already..
I miss shi hui.. giordano shi hui.. Recently I also felt quite down, coz I got a feel everything is leaving me.. I am slowly losting things including you.. dear.. wo hai ai ni.. zhu ni xin fu ye si wan wo men ke yi xin fu yi wan nian..
{{ 8:32 PM -
Purple&&Freak `
Thursday, December 25, 2008 Y
Merry Christmas dear, today is Christmas also booking in day, from now count down, I left around 4hr I need to go out le.. the weather today is very windy and cooling.. I think it will be very nice if we could walking to 8 tou but some snack, talking to each other, joking, holding hand. I felt lonely this Christmas, you had be promising me to knock off early since long time ago, but none of the day is real, sometime u always told me u try to finish up your work, so sat u can knock off early but still the same thing knocking off so late. I really got think what u had told me to leave u first, coz I think i am feeling very tough when I have a gf but she can't acc at special day, even sms or call also difficult, my feeling now is have equal dun have, dear I think if this continue, the love inside me will fade off soon, seriously it had slowly faded off.. I dun seem how much you love me too.. I feel our relationship slowly slowly turn to stranger feeling.. Actually I miss the 1st Christmas too.. my heart ache.. I dun wan to feel this way at the same time I dun wish to give up this relationship, what should I do u tell me dear.. I hope the left over feeling inside able to wait till the day we can really be happy together.. Merry Christmas to you.. I miss shi hui..
{{ 5:00 PM -
Purple&&Freak `
Wednesday, December 24, 2008 Y
Today is Christmas eve, it been sometime I never feel so lonely on Christmas day already.. my fren who have gf all are celebrating today and tml.. some fren even ask me how come ur gf never take leave.. haha.. u guess what i told them? dun worry, i didn't say ur bad words, just told them ur side not enough ppl. I wish i could celebrate with u at orchard watching movie.. that feeling must be very good. You told me u are working.. u busy until really I can say bust than a bee or business man.. i feel so sour in my heart when i called u and u told me in a rush that u are busy.. and hang up my phone.. dear.. can I ask u something? u really busy till u can't even leave early even u cant apply leave? I dun mean to blame u anything.. just feel a kind of weird feeling that u like dun love me anymore actually or dun like miss me, together with me is just coz u scare lonely.. sorry to say that.. sometime when we argue abt this and u cried.. I feel so heart pain and always believe u.. but when time come by I feel so irritated by what i thinking.. dear.. just wanna say Happy 3rd Merry christmas to you..
{{ 6:43 PM -
Purple&&Freak `
