Monday, January 26, 2009 Y
Today is chinese New Year 1st day, I am alone at home, still rem last year chi new year, u went to cinema bought ticket for me and my family to wait for us, we watched the movie together, think back, I really apperciate the way u do it, u also told me ur aunt ask u not to leave so early, but u insist to come meet me.. that was when u love me real lot ba I think. Eventually u told me chi new year 2nd and 3rd day u will acc me, but this afternoon u told me u going ur da yi ma house.. I suddenly feel kind of lost, u give me a very strong feeling that we like really getting further and further, maybe yes u ask me to come along, but I really feel very wierd u understad? I know u will think is ok, u will think I am the one who sensitive or wat.. but I hope u will understand me too.. I dun wanna be so odd, I dun mind u going to ur da yi ma house, as u told me ur cousin everyone is going and u need to go. but can u show some care for me than saying nvm ba. Today all ur sms not more than 4 sentnce, and not more than 10 msg. Do u really care what I am doing now? how I feel now?
I feel very lonely now.. thinking of going out for a drink, but I know u wun like it and if u know that I go, we will argue agian and what ever we yesterday talk de all will go back zero.. Dear u always say u still love me, still love me, still miss me, do u think so? U really dun even care le, pls tell me so if u dun wanna together le, we say hao le wanna save our relationship, give it one more chance, but u dun seem executing u know? with one person, how u wanna me to withstand?
Dear pls come back.. dun change..
{{ 8:16 PM -
Purple&&Freak `
Today is 2009 chi new year eve, suddenly I find myself very unlucky whenever chi new year, I doesn't know why too, is rather argue with dad or gf. This chi new year is 3rd new year we celebrate together, but this time round there is something I sense alot of different. We r changing, u r changing.. I dun feel the strong feeling anymore.. Dear u dun love me so anymore.. Thanks alot for the chi new year goods u bought for me and my family, and sorry I didn't, I got not enough money to buy, the rest of the money is to go out with u next week de, I can't over spend. Today when I go over ur house and take the thing that u bought for me, we were in the room and u are trying different dress to show me.. u r becoming more and more beautiful le. since I enlisted, I never really take a very good look at u.. until now seeing our relationship going down slop I realise u had start to grow up alr, alot of thing is different alr.
Dear I think I need you, do u? I really hope this chinese new year is not a year that u leave me.
Just now u called me, and we had a chat for around 1hour. We were talking about whether to leave each other anot, u told me about the thing u dun like about my character.. we really talk about alot, u even told me this time round the ring u will be the one buying, and we will start wearing that ring instead of the old wan, it represent start from a fresh..
Dear I promised u I will change, I will try to be good and let our relationship be good.. Happy Chinese New Year Bao Bei!
{{ 1:32 AM -
Purple&&Freak `
Saturday, January 24, 2009 Y
Dear, this is another post about unhappy things, I really feel sad tat I dun really have the chance to post happy things up. Recently I got a very strong six sense that we gonna break off soon, I dun know why, and i think I got no confident and heart to save it anymore, I am really tire this time round, if we really do argue again, i think i will let go everything le.. still rem I did ask u one time do u love me as much as before? u reply me a quick wan "No" actually my heart very pain.. And I think I also slowly get numb about our relationship already.. we really argue every single thing.. even u buy something for my family new year, suppose to be I am glad and happy u bought something for us, but turn into a bad ending..
I got something to sound out here as I always keep from u, sorry that u should know my drive is high, yes u dun like it everytime, even dirty joke, u feel sick too when I say it to u, so I really swear to myself I will never ask from um say infront of u, or even mention anything about that. My every guy fren, their gf give whenever they need, even when their gf dun wish to do, they blow for them.. I know u dun like, so I also dun wanna force u, I dun know is coz u haven mature or u dun like to have sex or u feel that I am sick, so u feel disgust when doing with me..
To me I truley believe no sex no love.. I still confidently stand my right.
Dear.. I think maybe sometime I dun wanna do extra things for u is because I think our relationship dun last long anymore and the feeling towards love had faded inside me, I believe same goes to u. I can really sense u start to fade also.. sometime when u sms me telling me u miss me lots.. I got not much feeling, I feel that u say for the sake of saying only.. When the time u are not able to acc me I feel very ache inside me.. u really dun spend enough time with me, and slowly I attempted and I think I find tat when I am alone, I am more happy..
So if we were to argue, I think I may choose to let go, short pain better than long pain, u will be more happy too trust me.. Every night always before I slp in my bunk when u unable to chat long with me, I always look at the picture we took long time ago.. I really see the sweet in us.. I love it.. and whenever I think through, my eye turn red.. I feel like crying and my heart really ache, why does our relationship turn into this way? we use to promise what to each other and plan what to buy and do in the future had slowly turn into a dream only..
Dear kola, if 1 day we really break off, I will be very sad trust me, but I hope u wun get upset too long too k? u will be fine after few week, and I hope u will be more happy and fortune when u get another bf, hope he can give what i can't give to u.. I had tried my best already.. sorry..
{{ 9:26 PM -
Purple&&Freak `
